So, I was on the train this morning and this lady kept telling her 5 (maybe 6) year old "turn your ass around and sit straight in your seat". I mean she KEPT SAYING IT OVER AND OVER loud enough for everyone to hear. The child kept trying to lean her head on the window to sleep. She just seemed sleepy and tired, and apparently wanted to rest her head on the window (or so it seemed).
Now, I didn't really care for the way the woman was talking to the little girl, especially with the curse word. But additionally, each time she said it, she jerked the child around to physically force her to turn as she had instructed her. However, what really got under my skin and actually caused me to jump and become quite startled was when she yanked the child so hard that the force of it caused the little girl to hit her head on the window (with a very audible BUMP) because of the way she bounced back from the jerk. Nobody around said or did anything, even though I'm sure it must have been disturbing to people on the train other than myself (at least I think).....The interesting thing is, the little girl was obviously hurt and as she kind of turned and looked at me from the side, with her head down a little bit, the look in her eyes indicated that she was suffering a bit from all the aggravation the woman was putting on her, but she didn't cry or say anything. I looked into the little girl's eyes trying to figure out what to do. Her eyes seemed to show wounded feelings, but I still wasn't sure if she looked like she needed "help??" (if that makes sense).
The questions I had for myself in looking at the situation was, "is this child being stubborn and disobedient and the mother (or whoever she was), is simply intent on insisting that she obey?" or "is this woman just angry about something, out of her mind and taking it out on the little girl?" I mean I really struggled as I continued to watch the situation and progress towards my stop. "Should I say something to this woman?" "If I do say something, will it make it worse for the little girl?" I mean it's not like child services was right there on the train or within calling distance....How could I really help? I felt awful.
It was really a hard one to figure out. I mean I have two children of my own, and I have actually been in that situation where I was dealing with a bit of "knucklehead behavior" from my own children on different occasions (and no matter who was watching), I implemented disciplinary measures because it needed to happen. As I've lived a little longer, I too have actually found myself using a few "choice vocabulary words" with my children when I was annoyed enough that earlier on in life, I might not have used....AND In fact, if someone had said something to me during those times of GREAT ANNOYANCE with my children, without knowing the entire situation, I might have laid into them a bit too. So, I definitely know how that can be. I continued to observe the little girl; she was dressed cute with a little cute animal hat, and she didn't seem to be really suffering otherwise (or so it seemed). However, the cursing seemed extreme, especially for a child of that age, and the roughness was unsettling to see. But what really concerned me was that NOBODY SAID OR DID ANYTHING......and the truth is, neither did I.
I have to admit, felt a bit helpless about what decision to make, because it just isn't something that I see everyday, and I felt a bit at odds on what the right move would be. So, as I got off the train, looked back and heard the woman say, YET AGAIN, "turn your ass around and sit straight in your seat", I just said a silent, most earnest prayer for that little one.
