Isn't it funny how you can be in the best mood of your life, just making good decisions all over the place and feeling really good inside; then out of nowhere, someone can come along and say some things to you that you never knew they were thinking and just hurt your feelings?
That happened to me yesterday. I'd had a lot of big decisions on my plate lately, and I had processed through alot of things, made some difficult mental decisions and I went to share those decisions with someone very important in my life and with his mother. However, when I started sharing, instead of my joyous feelings being reciprocated, my friend's mother actually said some things to me that were hurtful and actually quite devastating (there's nothing like someone telling you how they REALLY feel about you).
All of sudden every good feeling I'd had just seemed to be instantly sliced apart. Instead of feeling happy and great like I did just two seconds before, I suddenly had a feeling like someone was taking a knife and stabbing it in my chest and twisting it. My chest literally became so tight I couldn't breathe.
No longer was I on the high that had brought me there to share with the person that I thought was my best friend. No longer was I walking on air. The worst part, my "best friend" just left---didn't stand by my side--didn't say anything. It was an awful experience. When my friend's mother finished telling me off, I literally just turned and walked away, left my friend's house, left the friendship, left everything. It's the worst feeling you know being ripped apart by someone you thought liked you and that you previously thought had a mutual respect and consideration for you. It was an odd euphoric feeling finding out the truth like that. But, there really wasn't anything more to say.
So, you ask, why are you blogging about it today?
Well, you know, by the same token, isn't it funny how just as quickly as something can make you feel awful, something else good can come along and bring you right back up again?
That's what happened to me today.
Today I took a monumental step in the direction of seriously changing up some things in my life. I made a phone call about something I had been thinking about for a long time, and that phone call turned out to be the best decision ever! That one little step in the right direction just brought an entire ray of sunshine down on me. Instead of wallowing in those hurt feelings, I got up, brushed myself off emotionally, and started working on something of value in my life.
You see, during that phone call, I had to tell someone alot of personal things about me, about the person that I am, about what my favorite characteristics are...what makes me who I am. I had to talk about what I value not only in me, but also what I value in other people. It was very enlightening for me telling this person what was important to me regarding what I really value in people. My eyes were opened about myself as talked. Like a lightbulb, it suddenly became clear to me again the kind of person that I am. I never profess to be perfect,...honestly, noone is....but, what I did realize is that what that person had said to me and what my friend had done to me, I would just never do that to another person. That just isn't me. I value treating people with honesty, love and mutual respect.
When I hung up the phone, I found that I was suddenly lifted up mentally. It dawned on me yet again that there just isn't enough time in my life to absorb bad feelings imposed on me by other people. I can't let those bad feelings set up house and reside in me. It's just not worth it. I also thought about the reality of how things just don't last forever, and people don't live forever--You can't let one or two people ruin your outlook on life.
I thought about what happened to me yesterday, and suddenly the mean words that were said and the betrayal that I felt just seemed very small and insignificant compared to all the big and wonderful things that I'm doing in my life overall.
So, I just wanted to pause for a moment to say that Yesterday Was A Great Day...But Today is Even Better!
How Random.
